The real reason many Americans are cutting ties with their parents and siblings

According to research by sociologist Rin Reczek at Ohio State University, about a quarter of Americans have been estranged from a relative — roughly sixty-seven million people. But here's what might surprise you: these numbers aren't skyrocketing. What's changed is that an ancient tension between two competing models of family is now impossible to ignore. One model — what Reczek calls compulsory kinship — treats family bonds as permanent and unconditional: you show up at Thanksgiving, you care for aging parents, because that's what family means. The other, democratized kinship, treats family ties as requiring mutual respect, accountability and reciprocity to endure. Estrangement often doesn't explode from a single betrayal — it erupts gradually, from years of mounting tensions between these two frameworks. And here's something hopeful: people who cut off their families of origin don't reject family altogether. They rebuild, drawing friends, partners and neighbors into new kinship networks — family defined by choice rather than birth.

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